I am constantly conversing in my head, asking if how I present myself, accurately represents who I am. Aesthetics are firstly a branch of philosophy that deals with beauty, tastes and art, but in the modern day culture of Instagram, Tumblr and Pinterest, aesthetics are so much more than that. Whether we like it or not, people will prejudge us based on whether we have allocated ourselves into the evolved subcategories of ‘indie’, ‘eboy’ or ‘egirl’, ‘grunge’, ‘soft’ and many other labels that have dominated the internet. The pros are we can be whoever we want to be and choose alternative styles over the classic Joni jean and white crop top combo (which in itself has unashamedly formed its own aesthetic), however the pressure of falling into a category comes with the side order of unavoidable stereotypes. My question is, do we therefore actively choose to present ourselves in this way and conform to the stereotypes, or does it just sort of instinctively happen?

Human aesthetic can come down to something as little as our favourite colour and this element of taste supposedly tells us something about our personality. For instance, if purple is your favourite colour then you are more of a perfectionist, if it’s white you are organised and independent, if it’s pink you are hungry for love and compassion. The list goes on. So, our tastes reveal something about who we are as individuals. Or maybe, just maybe, you simply like the colour and these ideologies possibly lean on the human formed world of symbolism and association.

For some, an aesthetic can provide a sense of purpose, structure and pattern. It’s easier to shop knowing your style for instance, and even easier to find music or films that are most according to your preference. Reverse it and much of our style can be dependent on popular culture. We all know or have seen a Kanye fan that lives in oversized clothing; a Rex Orange County fan who loves corduroy or a girl that strictly wears pink on Wednesdays. We are so constructed by categories even your Spotify and Netflix could guess your appearance. For others, aesthetics are nothing more than a trend and instead, trying to be original and achieving goals creep into the foreground of one's significance.

I want to address the fact that much of our aesthetic is influenced by mood. If you wake up after lunchtime feeling like crap, you’re much more likely to just throw on your favourite (but very stained) hoodie, right? Alternatively, you may feel crap and decide to make an effort in an attempt to make yourself feel better. This highlights how the way you present yourself can also affect your mood instead of vice versa. So, an aesthetic arguably affects your lifestyle choices too: a huge deciding factor on whether you will spend your day painting or working out; making music or sleeping, simply based on the way you feel or look. 

In lockdown I feel as though the pressure of theoretically finding ourselves has risen. Home alone and bored, you’ve dyed your hair, pierced your own ear and worn chains; before you know it you’ve morphed into an eboy. Was this really a choice or were you subconsciously influenced by the hours scrolling through TikTok? Who knows. What may happen after though is you spend the next few days debating whether you love it or hate it: an internal battle of asking “is this really me though?” or “am I just not used to this”. That’s because you subconsciously worry that your personality will now also be prejudged on this new look. Some may love the advanced ‘edgy’ vibe while others may think you’re experiencing a teen-crisis. You may be considering similar motives but in truth, just wanted to try something different.

Personally, I’ve been spending my time finding new outfits on Pinterest that I’m itching to go and buy. (I’m the sort of person who gets a thrill from sauntering through shopping malls rather than splashing my cash virtually*). Everytime I save a different outfit to my ‘Style’ board though, I have to remind myself that I’m looking for outfits to suit me and not my favourite Instagram influencers. (Here is where I encourage you to stop that habit of comparing yourself to others!) Then, tangled in a web of lost self-consciousness, I take myself over to google and shamelessly type into my internet browser ‘which style best suits me’ or ‘how to find my style’.

*Update: I couldn’t resist the urge and did end up buying a load of new clothes. Whoops.

Yes choosing an aesthetic can be hard as you stressfully archive posts on Instagram to make your feed appropriate to your taste, or fight demons in your head that tell you that you look odd; choosing your own aesthetic is even harder. I think the best way to go about it is to highlight what you like over what you think you would suit. Always remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One day you may be rocking double denim and butterfly clips, the next day you are styling a leather jacket with doc martens, or you might even customise your own tie-dye dress. Also, don’t believe that just because you like to travel doesn’t instantly mean you have to look like a hipster, or because you are a ballerina, you can’t be cool and retro. This is why the world of eclecticism is so impactful. Breaking the boundaries and expectations is what will make your aesthetic totally unique to you, your personality and your interests.

Bottom line is, you’re probably overthinking it and actually the only person that really cares this much about your aesthetic is you. Is the title question even worth asking? As much as aesthetic and who we are seem to go hand in hand, they can also be entirely separate if that is how you would rather it. As long as you’re comfortable, confident and content, then we can leave labels and stereotypes in the past.

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Photography by India Wilson